Acceptance

Fully acknowledging reality as it is in the present moment, without judgment. Importantly, acceptance does not mean approval. Acceptance requires letting go of fighting what cannot be changed so that actual, desired changes can be made.

Black and White Thinking

Seeing things in terms of extremes with no room for nuance or shades of gray. Can also be called “all or nothing” thinking. A common “cognitive distortion.”

Example: “People are greedy.”

Catastrophizing

Thinking that the worst outcome is going to happen without supporting evidence.

Example: “I’m going to go to therapy, it’s not going to work, and the pain of this failure will be unbearable.”

Cognitive Distortions

Habitual thinking patterns that are inaccurate or unhelpful (e.g., all-or-nothing thinking). Therapy helps identify and challenge these patterns.

Core Beliefs

Deeply held beliefs about ourselves, others, or the world. These beliefs shape how we interpret our experiences.

Dialectics

The synthesis of opposites, integrating two seemingly contradictory ideas or forces to find a more complete truth.

Example (distress tolerance): We can fully accept that they are deeply struggling in the moment and still work to change their emotional response.

Example (interpersonal): We can feel strong feelings of love for someone and still need to set different boundaries.

Grounding

Techniques and exercises that help bring attention back to the present moment. Used for emotion regulation and distress tolerance.

Example: 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise: name 5 things you see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you can taste.

Judgment

Not a fact. Anything that cannot be agreed upon by 1,000 people in a room or written down in a scientific textbook.

Example: “That was a ‘bad’ thing.” “That situation was ‘unfair.’”

Mindfulness

The quality or state of being conscious or aware of something. A mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations. Mindfulness takes practice and is the foundation for many other coping skills and relaxation strategies.

Neuroplasticity

The ability of the brain to form and reorganize synaptic connections, especially in response to learning or experience. We are not stuck thinking, feeling or behaving in any certain way.

Secondary Suffering

The additional, unnecessary distress that individuals experience in response to judgments about a situation.

Example: Someone gets sad from being laid off at work (primary suffering). They then call themselves a “loser who will never find another job” (secondary suffering).

Self-Compassion

Treating yourself with kindness during difficult times. The modern consensus is that self-compassion is actually much more important than self-esteem.

Window of Tolerance

The range of emotional arousal where we can think clearly and respond effectively. One goal of therapy is to expand this window. Another goal is to develop coping skills to return to this window when in crisis.